Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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