Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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