I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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