her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
