I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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