Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i need some magic done to my vagina
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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