do herpes really smell.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
