I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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