Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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