I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
