Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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