it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
