i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
