Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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