sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
