normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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