So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
