I wannas sexs uuuuu
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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