go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
