it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We were destined to go to rehab together
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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