how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
