The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize