Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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