Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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