You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
