You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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