i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wish you could order shots online.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
