He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
