is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
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I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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