we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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