My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
