i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
