it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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