I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
