so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
