clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
