I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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