I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
