I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
