OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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