another moral hangover. fuck.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize