Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize