Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
