She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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