well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
