hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Randomize
