The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
