so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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