the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
