Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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