Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
