If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
