i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
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