6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize