Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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