i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
