I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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