none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
