Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
