you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
