i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
