no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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