Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
