I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
