i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
