16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
