Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
