we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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