2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she pinky promised me she was 18
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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