think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
